Struggling To Say No

When you are someone who struggles to say to no to others, there are times when it seems to be easier to say yes then to deal with the overwhelming guilt that follows around in your head.

You know that you can say no to others, to those social or family situations where for your own reasons you would prefer to say no then yes. There can be times in your life where it feels like so much of your life is filled up with obligations, rather than anything that lights you up. When all your energy and time is spent on everyone else, where does that leave you?

Probably exhausted, drained, overwhelmed, stressed and with a rising feeling of resentment. It can feel like you are not even sure who you are anymore, because your life is filled with all these “should”s.

There are times when it feels like a battle. Your heart is so generous and giving, and you will do anything for those you care about, however you are left feeling so depleted.

Some people who seem to have this all figured out and when you talk to them to see if they can offer some advice, it seems to be “well just tell them no, it is that easy you know?” If only it felt this easy. It surely sounds easier said than done.

The brain runs on overdrive, with you worried about letting them down, or upsetting them because the last thing you want is to hurt them.

You just want to learn how you can become comfortable in saying no to others. It feels like it might be easier to say yes, then to deal with the possibility of a confrontation.

If you are someone who can relate to this, the biggest tip I want to share with you today is to become clear on what you want from your life and how you want to feel every single day.

What I have learnt over the years is that when I am firm in knowing who I am, what I am working towards and the feelings I want to bring into my life, being able to distinguish when to say yes or no seems easier.

This could be wanting to feel fit and healthy, so from that desire to bring this into your life, you allocate time for your favourite exercise and for your meal planning and prep. So when you feel obligated to stay back at work late, you may start to notice you become more comfortable with saying no to that because it is taking away from your goals.

One of the life lessons this is showing us, is that by saying no to others you are saying yes to yourself.

So when you find yourself sitting there pulling your hair out, crying and asking yourself “is it worth it?” becoming comfortable with saying no gives to you in more ways then you realise at the moment.

  • It helps you learn to stop second guessing yourself
  • You will notice you don’t worry so much about what others are saying about you
  • You will feel comfortable in your own skin
  • You will start to share your point of view more
  • Giving to others becomes enjoyable again
  • You learn to trust yourself

Your days are yours to create and truly I believe you can create a balance between giving to yourself and giving to your loved ones all while feeling a deep connection to yourself.

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