Here’s what happens when you ask a group of amazing women what living unapologetically means to them (and I couldn’t resist adding my own thoughts). I hope you enjoy reading all the words of wisdom shared below:
My tip for how to live unapologetically you is to take responsibility. Trust me this is powerful. There may be parts of your life you don’t like, crappy habits you can’t leave, people that piss you off, situations that piss you off or stuff that gets you down and you can’t seem to shift.
There is true power in taking responsibility for yourself, your happiness and the way you want to feel and live. Instead of thinking or talking about what you would like to change, why not be that change, show up for yourself. My mantra at the moment is ‘I am worthy of consistent effort’, please know just how worthy you are of this right now.
Our little negative voice tries it’s best to let us know why we can’t. Why we can’t change, why we can’t stop that crappy habit, it makes all the excuses under the sun, and it makes all the reasons for why we should stay small, stay in the comfort zone even though we know we are capable of so SO much more.
Today, this very moment you have the opportunity to take responsibility for the changes you crave. Do you want to take better care of yourself, nurture your body, make more time for your spiritual practices, read, get coffee, swim, run, whatever you want, you are the only one in the way of this, your beliefs are the only limit you have.
Want to live unapologetically? Take your power back, make the changes you have craved for so long. This has been the #1 thing in taking my power back and living without an apology in site, most of the time (nowhere perfect, that’s for sure!).
You can connect with Kristy through the links below:
Living unapologetically you can often be hard for women who experience anxiety. They place the pressure of other people’s expectations on themselves, not to mention their very own high expectations. In order to live unapologetically you though, is to allow all emotions to co-exist, the “good” and the “bad.” When we resist the so called “bad” emotions it’s easy to start putting on a mask, start over working, or acting from a place of fear rather than love.
We do this because we operate from our self-conscious mind 95% of the time. It’s the part of your brain that stores emotions, memories and runs the body. Its intention is to keep you safe so you end up sabotaging yourself like:
So to live unapologetically you start listening in to your emotions and honour them. Name them and ask yourself “Why do you feel this way?” Then put focus on releasing them through:
Living unapologetically you can be challenging at times but trust me the journey is worth it. You’ve got this.
You can connect with Diana through the links below:
For quiet or sensitive souls, how we show up in the world might look different to what we’ve been taught to believe is ‘normal’. But just because you’re quiet and you feel deeply, doesn’t mean that you’re not a force to be reckoned with. Find what works for you, set beautiful boundaries around what’s okay and what’s not okay in your life and your relationships with others, and don’t be surprised when people start to say ‘oh, me too’ just when you’re feeling like you might be the only one. Be gentle with yourself and trust that quiet voice – because that is the sound of who you really are.
You can connect with Katherine through the links below:
There will be moments in your life where new experiences, events, people and opportunities will come your way and they’ll feel so fucking right, but before you can say “Yes, I’m in!!!” – fear sets in. Your ego will tell you you’re not ready, they won’t like you, you’re not qualified enough, you’re not confident enough, you won’t fit in, you don’t have the money…
And it’ll be in these moments when you want to hide, contract, make yourself small or wait until next year that I invite you to show up…Show up when you feel a lump in your throat. Show up when your voice cracks. Show up when it feels like your heart will jump out of your chest. Show up even though you’re going to the event alone. Show up even though you don’t know what will happen next. Because when you do, new doors will open and as each day passes you’ll feel braver and more courageous and fierce. You’ll grow, expand and learn from your mistakes, and one day you’ll look back on the last five years, two years or six months and realise you’ve become the person you dreamt you could be.
That’s how you’ll live unapologetically you.
You can connect with Jade through the links below:
My tip on how to live unapologetically you is Owning It… Owning You and Your Life.
I really only started to live unapologetically as me when I began to really own it, owning my life in every way, the messy past, the uncertain present and the uncharted future ambition. Our strength is in our story and our dreams. No one else in the world has experienced your joy, your heartbreak, made your mistakes or reached your goals. By knowing and accepting this you are free to embrace life unapologetically as you in all your beautiful glory, battle scars, magical moments, lofty dreams, all of it. Just Own You.
You can connect with Danielle through the links below:
There is only one perfectly perfect you. Your journey through life has shaped you to be exactly who you are today. Your personality, strengths, quirks, and all of your experiences are uniquely yours. Living unapologetically means being true to all of who you are – and letting go of what others might think. (hint… the only opinion that really matters is yours!) Don’t try to shrink, fit in, and be exactly the same as everyone else. Do the things that fill you with joy. Wear what makes you happy. Chase your passions and follow your heart, always. The world wants to see your beautiful light – your purpose is to let it shine!
You can connect with Michelle through the links below:
When I was younger, my idea of living unapologetically was to be rebellious and defiant. I would quickly and loudly challenge anything or anyone I felt was wrong and give a big eff you to anyone trying to quieten me.
Now that I have some years on me, my way of living unapologetically, is to know and love myself, warts and all. I’ve cultivated a daily habit of checking in with my spirit. Some days it’s as simple as pausing when I wake up to take a deep breath and check in with how I’m feeling. This knowledge and connection creates a grounded sense of self and will have you moving through your days with deep presence. Instead of striving to live unapologetically, being yourself will happen naturally. It becomes a way of being instead of something you strive to do.
You can connect with Ruby through the links below:
Living unapologetically didn’t come naturally for me. It was gradual as I became older and understood myself and human relationships better.
Once I understood ‘your vibe attracts your tribe’, it was easier to let go of trying hard to be like everybody else, knowing that there are people who would be attracted to me, my personality, my character. I also yearned deep connection with people, and I certainly wasn’t getting that by trying to clone myself to replicate all the ‘popular’ women.
Being myself allows me freedom of expression, be it the way I dress, speak or show up. It attracts like-minded people and deep and meaningful conversations. I don’t feel insecure because I know the people I spend time with are people who are interested in and like me for who I am.
You can connect with Rosa through the links below:
Living unapologetically means being comfortable with ALL the parts that make me who I am. Not only is it about acknowledging the strengths, skills and talents that I have to offer, but it’s also about being kind and compassionate with myself when I’m coming up against my own fears, vulnerabilities and insecurities too.
My number one tip to live unapologetically you? Let go of the need to be ‘perfect’.
Yes, it’s a moment to moment practice, but it has helped me to realise that I am worthy and whole no matter whether I’m riding the highs of my greatest achievements, or I’m in the trenches of the sometimes messy and uncomfortable lows. When you let go of that self-imposed pressure, you too will begin to accept yourself for the beautiful, brave and courageous human that you are. And it’s from that place that you’ll be able to make wholehearted life decisions that feel good and right for you.
You can connect with Tash through the links below:
An integral piece of living unapologetically is owning your pleasurable sexual expression as it is right now in your life. What that looks like is turning inward, identifying what it is you like (and what works) within your sex life and holding all of those feel-good sensations facets close to your heart like precious jewels. Whatever it is that you enjoy, makes you feel empowered, confident, liberated and has you feeling genuinely connected to yourself and someone else is something that you want to embrace right now and keep doing in the long haul.
There can be subtle shaming out there of your sexuality not being wild enough or your orgasms not deep enough or unique enough but when it comes to a perfectly enjoyable sex life, it can be dangerous to start striving higher and falling into the trap that your expression should be more. You can only be truly unapologetic when you own your unique sex life and avoid comparing it to anyone else’s. You are unapologetic when you feel safe in the knowledge that your sex life is real and honouring of you and that this is better than enough…it is truly abundant.
You can connect with Lauren through the links below:
When I first got married, I thought, “I have found the one, here comes happily ever after.”
But I gradually found myself losing desire for my man until eventually it was gone entirely. Losing my libido was not part of my “happily ever after” expectations. I felt ashamed.
I was ashamed and worried about what it must mean; about us, about me. I wanted to hide it and started to shame myself. This was only making it worse.
The only way out of this conundrum was to be bigger than my shame, bigger than my expectations, bigger than the social myths I had swallowed and to become unapologetically me.
There is nowhere we need this more than in our relationships. I believe being unapologetically who we are is the key to true intimacy. Instead of promoting a façade, created by shame and fear we nourish the wholeness and truth of who we are. We share our true self with our partner and as a result we get closer and deeper as a couple.
You can connect with Nicole through the links below:
What it means to live unapologetically?
To me it means:
Being ourselves, embracing and loving everything that makes us the way we are.
Not betraying our true nature for the sake of external validation and in order to fit into someone else’s idea of how to do life – this only disconnects us from who we are.
Trusting our inner knowing – despite the doubts our mind feeds us with or the opinions of others.
Showing up just as we are, with all our emotions, without labelling or judging them.
Living unapologetically is a deep feeling of freedom. It can also be reflected in a physical sensation when the body feels expansive, not contracted.
One of the ways to practice living unapologetically that works for me is through intuitive painting. It allows to practice trust and connection within ourselves. I love approaching the process without any agenda, just playing with shapes and colours; splashing paint on paper for the pure pleasure of expressing myself creatively. I observe how my body feels, then observe what comes up on the paper. I focus on the joy of free expression, without attachment to the final result or judging myself (not easy, but definitely worth practicing!)
Also, at my creative workshops we celebrate our uniqueness through free creative expression guided by the imagery that participants experience in visualisation and self-enquiry. We then translate it with paint onto canvas which serves like a mirror to show our unique nature. I want this creative process to inspire people to celebrate who they are and be themselves, unapologetically.
You can connect with Marta through the links below:
If there is one lesson that I’ve had to learn over and over about living unapologetically, it’s this. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.
Boundaries are not a form of punishing other people. Boundaries are a form of honouring yourself. They sometimes feel like punishment, because other people’s boundaries have wounded you. Their “no” felt like rejection, isolation or abandonment.⠀
And when you claim space for yourself, you may worry the other person feels let down, hurt, angry or abandoned – like you did – when they claimed their space. But boundaries are simply stating what is ok and what is not ok – for *you*. They are a litmus test for how well we can honour our needs and accommodate others when it feels good to do so. ⠀
Learning to have clearly defined boundaries; being able to communicate them honestly and forthrightly; and maintaining them in the face of disagreement, negotiation or conflict has been vital for me.
You can connect with Tahlee through the links below:
Ready to become more authentically, unapologetically you? Spend a little more time practicing mindfulness.
Mindfulness is the skill of being open, curious and present within the moment and free of judgment. It is the difference between experiencing your life as it unfolds or being disconnected from your inner and outer worlds. Mindfulness can also help you cultivate greater self-awareness, showing you who you truly are and giving you the choice and opportunity to be more authentic. Here are a few simple ways you can practice mindfulness right now:
-Tune into your breath, without changing it. Simply notice the journey of the air moving through your nose, down your throat and into your lungs. Feel the rise and fall of your chest and stomach.
-Look around and notice 10 different things you can see, perhaps, colours, objects, shapes or textures. Refrain from judging them and simply observe and name.
For more mindfulness practices, you might like to listen to my podcast, The Mindful Kind, via iTunes or Spotify.
You can connect with Rachael through the links below:
Say no to some things so that you can say yes to others.
Different opportunities and requests can come along all the time and, for many of us at times, saying ‘no’ can feel hard. We worry that we will miss out on things, let people down, give up chances or prevent further opportunities coming our way.
To live unapologetically as yourself and honour your own journey in life, being willing to say ‘no’ to some things so that you have the space, energy and time to say ‘yes’ to the things that are important to you is crucial.
If every time we say ‘no’ we become clear on what we are in turn saying ‘yes’ to, what has once felt like a very big, weighted ‘no’ more often than not feels like a little ‘no’ in comparison to a much bigger ‘yes’ – a ‘yes’ that brings alignment to a wholehearted, unapologetic life.
You can connect with Johanna through the links below:
The one thing that has helped me the most to live unapologetically in my own life is getting clear on what I stand for, what I believe in, what’s important to me and my core values. These things act like a guide helping me to make decisions on how I live my life, how I spend my time and so on. When I’m clear on my values and what’s important to me I can make decisions on what feels right for me unapologetically, regardless of how other people may feel about it or what I think I “should” do.
You can connect with Chloe through the links below:
Here’s the thing: you have a choice in how big a role fear plays and the extent of its influence within your own life. And just as you can choose when and when not to listen to your fears, so too can you choose to evoke your courage. Courage to explore, to carry on, and to overcome.
An unapologetic life, after all, is by no means easy because an unapologetic life will challenge you as it will require you to courageously pave your own path. A path of your own then becomes your only option when you realize that living life for yourself, and not in accordance with the standards or opinions of anyone else, is actually life’s biggest lesson.
You can connect with Christine through the links below:
My best tip on living apologetically is to live from your values, and know yourself well. Being your own compass in this world, your own guiding principle is the most powerful way to live your life in a free, courageous, and joyful way. Having the wisdom come from the inside out allows us to trust ourselves more, and to stand fast whatever our circumstances. In a world where everyone has an opinion about everything – and not in the least about how we (as women) are supposed to live our lives – being able to tap into this inner well of knowledge about ourselves gives us the strength we need to follow our own unique path. So make a point of discovering and articulating what you stand for, learn as much as you can about yourself, and when your intuition speaks to you don’t be afraid to listen.
You can connect with Murielle through the links below:
Being unapologetically me
It wasn’t that long ago that I bought into what other people thought of me. I was that people pleasing type who desperately wanted to fit in and be liked. Don’t we all feel that way at some point or another?
Soon however I realised that bending into all sorts of versions of myself and often going against my own will brought about sickness, sadness, frustration and all sorts of worries. When you are trying to look after everybody else’s needs you soon understand that you are neglecting yours.
When I had this epiphany, I knew I had to figure out how best to start living my life on my terms. I wanted to become more self-aware and honour what felt right to me. I went back to yoga and meditation and spent a considerable amount of time in nature and alone. It was like building my confidence and boundaries muscle and becoming more ‘me’ again.
It took some time to realise that I won’t be able to do right by everyone but if I can love and care for those I love and who love me back, then I am in a good space. It is important that I go about my life in a kind, respectful and caring manner but frankly I don’t give a damn whether someone approves of how I live my life. I now know how to be unapologetically me and with every single day, I am becoming more of my highest self than ever before.
I’ll always be a ‘glass half full’ kinda gal and I know that my outlook on life will always bring the right people into my life. This theory has been proven over and over again and I am incredibly grateful for the life I am now living and the people that surround me.
You can connect with Jarka through the links below:
It’s okay to close the door,
To not trill the days
To till this quiet,
To fill journals, write poems,
To take time to reflect, review,
To know that silence and its practices
You can connect with Terri through the links below:
Unapologetic living sauntered into my life when I started to build a deep understanding of and connection with myself. I tuned in to what made me, me. What lit me up. What made me retract and withdraw. What natural gifts I was blessed with. What kind of lifestyle I wanted to create for myself. What my heart and soul desired. And I got brave. Freakin’ brave.
The journey towards self awareness and, most importantly, self acceptance were vital to me reaching a place where I felt courageous enough to live life unapologetically and on my terms. It was (/still is!) a long and windy path but one that’s an oh-so-worth-it-life-changer.
The more I strip back what does not serve me and move away from what I think I ‘should’ do, the happier I become. It’s never too late to begin this journey. All it takes is a decision and daily baby steps.
You’ve got this girl!
You can connect with Che through the links below:
It took a long time to realise that I’ve been allowing other people to affect my mood and my mental health, when I am the one who has the power to not let them do that anymore.
It used to affect me when someone didn’t say what I expected them to, or said something a certain way, ignored me or looked at me differently. And then I let go…I realised that everyone has different things happening in their lives (good, bad, traumatic, worrying, exciting, etc.) and that these events can affect them and be the reason why they act a certain way. I decided to give people the benefit of the doubt, be more empathetic, analyse their behaviour and not think “why are the being mean…what is their problem?” and get angry and let it affect my health. I realised how people act isn’t really about me, it’s about what is going on in their life. I feel healthier for it. I feel happier. I feel free.
You can connect with Karin through the links below:
Be your own biggest fan! We spend so much of our lives making decisions based around what will impress other people, whether it be your boss, partner, best friend or local librarian. Hot Tip – the librarian REALLY does not care that you are borrowing twilight for the 7th time.
Our decisions are often clouded with what we believe other people want us to do, say, act or be.
To be unapologetically you – start making decisions based around what your biggest fan (AKA YOU), wants.
What do you want to wear, do, say, be? When you are no longer striving to impress everyone else and focus on what lights you up – life gets a lot less complicated and a hell of a lot more fun!
You can connect with Alyssa through the links below:
To me, living unapologetically means not having to make excuses, justify or defend who you are or the way you choose to live your life. It’s living according to your own truth and this happens through deep connection with your whole self. The optimal way to create whole connection is unveiling and working with your shadow-self. Being able to identify, relate without judgment and ultimately integrate all of the energies inside of you (yes, even the not so pleasant and socially acceptable ones) results in deep understanding that it is indeed ALL of these energies that makes you uniquely you! When we connect with ourselves on this level, integration of our own shadow parts means release of the judgement of these energies we have in others. This results in living your life from a place of consciousness, truth and whole acceptance of self where there is no apology required.
You can connect with Natalie through the links below:
Living a life that is true to you is not black and white, it is a whole lot of shades of grey. The only person in this world who can say if you are or are not living unapologetically is you.
Creating a life that honours you requires self awareness, curiosity and honesty.
It is about developing a deep connection with yourself, discovering what excites you in this world, and giving yourself permission to change.
If you are ready to begin living unapologetically, then stay tuned for my soon to be released email series “Five ways in Five days to begin living unapologetically you”
You can connect with Sabrina through the links below:
As the new year begins we can have feelings of joy, excitement and wonder, as we look forward to everything we plan to achieve in the year ahead. It feels fresh and the options seem endless. There can be long to-do lists and goals written.
However, there are times when the new year can be filled with feelings of being overwhelmed, and have a genuine confusion and uneasiness to it. It can be a time when comparisons hit and the pang in the stomach reminds us that once again “I don’t have my life together”.
I sit here on the last day reflecting on what this year has been to me. It did not feel fast. It was intense and confronting. It was not the year I planned. It was a year of growth and deep introversion. It was one of self-discovery. I began this year as a different person. 2017 has changed me to my very core. (more…)
When the first of January rolls around, it is very common to check in with our self and set goals, new year resolutions, or a theme for the year. Most of us do this. The New Year has a buzzing vibe and the excitement of 12 months ahead of us to change our lives.
Then as the year rolls on, and the normal daily stuff needs to be done, that goal for the year can be forgotten about. Our brains tell us we failed, but there is a whisper of “we can try again next year”.
The thing is though you don’t need to wait to next year!
You can use the the half-way mark of the year as a time to connect with yourself and what you want for the remainder of the year. You can create new goals whenever you want; you do not need a shinning new year to connect within.
So make some time to connect with yourself, hermit away a little, journal and listen to what it is you want from your life.
When setting your goals, I have some tips to share with you –
I have always been someone who has struggled with setting up a consistent routine that lasts me 52 weeks of the year, 365 days. And I have seen it as a negative. I have used words like struggle, hopeless, not committed, unfocused.
I have criticised myself for not wanting to exercise the same way every single week of the year. I would tell myself I am a failure because I don’t get up the same time every single day.
I would tell myself if I could bring structure to my life I would be more successful. It would make me more productive, I would get more results.
I have spent so much energy fighting myself. I have tried so hard to bring about this routine to my life, because I felt that it would make me a successful adult.
I remember one New Year when January rolled around, I told myself – “this is the year you will bring routine to your life, you need this structure.” I tried diaries and Excel spreadsheets.
I told myself that I wanted to wake up the same time, exercise the same way and time, eat the same time, go to bed the same time, every single day.
Did it work?
Let me explain.
When you are someone who struggles to say to no to others, there are times when it seems to be easier to say yes then to deal with the overwhelming guilt that follows around in your head.
You know that you can say no to others, to those social or family situations where for your own reasons you would prefer to say no then yes. There can be times in your life where it feels like so much of your life is filled up with obligations, rather than anything that lights you up. When all your energy and time is spent on everyone else, where does that leave you? (more…)
When your day is finished and you are winding down, preparing yourself for bed, how do you feel about the day you have had? The more I talk to other people, the more I am left wondering if the majority of time others are finding heir every day life is draining and exhausting them. I wonder if it leaves them feeling that they are caught in the routine of “same old, same old”.
Perhaps this is something you can relate to? (more…)
Unintentionally and completely unplanned, I have taken a couple of months off writing a blog post. At the beginning the thoughts swirled through my head telling me how I was not good enough and I was feeling like I was a failure here because I was not consistently writing. This break was not because I had writers block and did not know what to share with you, in fact it was the opposite. The longer the break, the more creativity hit me. The break happened because I am deep in my own healing and I am discovering that with all this inner work I needed to create space in my life for myself. It was an act of self-care; a gift that I gave to myself. (more…)
I spent many years stuck, I had built huge, solid, giant walls around me that blocked everything. It made me tough. It meant that, no matter what happened, no one could hurt me. I pushed through life. Life had taught me that being soft and being sensitive was a weakness, so I numbed myself out. I blocked all feelings, I kept people at a distance, I numbed myself with food and alcohol. I was pushing through life and I was doing my best to survive. (more…)
One thing I have learnt on this journey, is that when you shine light on the struggle that is when you are able to bring about change. So today I want to encourage you to become curious with your own life because I see so many of us with a common struggle.
So here I am wondering if you can relate to this at all? (more…)
For as long as I can remember I have always had an interest in all things spiritual. In my late teens I allowed myself to explore anything that interested me. However throughout the majority of my twenties and even into my thirties, I had cut myself off from this. I had truly denied myself this deeper connection. (more…)