Have you ever stopped and paid attention to all the stories ticking over in your head? Perhaps they go something like this:
- I have upset them because I said …
- They don’t like me …
- They are talking about me … (what have I done wrong now?)
Everyday we are interacting with a wide range of people and we try so hard because we don’t want to be seen as cruel, or mean, and the fear that we have done something which may upset someone else can weigh heavily on us. There is a constant worry that you have said or done the wrong thing.
It is like a loop that goes around and around, and no matter how much you wish you didn’t care so much, the brain doesn’t want to switch this thought off! I have been here, stuck in this loop, with the feelings of guilt arising and being paralysed because you don’t know what to do.
However, did you consider that they may not be upset with you? That this loop running through your head, is not at all what they are thinking or feeling?
Because, for a long time, this never occurred to me.
If someone did not say good morning to me, it meant that I had upset them.
If someone walked past me without smiling at me, it meant that they were mad at me.
If someone was short with me, it meant that they didn’t like me.
But what if it was not about you?
Here is a great video from Alexi Panos that I would strongly recommend you to watch, and in the comments below let me know how you go with pressing pause on this loop.