December is a month where I like to spend a while reflecting on the year that has been. It’s a busy part of year where at times I can feel like I struggle to keep up with it all, and that’s what makes the moments I take to reflect so much more precious to me. In this period where we give so much of our self to so many others, it is so important to take the time out for yourself. This reflection is the biggest gift I can give myself right now.
2016 has been an incredibly huge year for me. In numerology, this year has been a universal nine year. It has been a year of completion, release and wrapping up everything from the last nine years. If only I understood what that all would mean when I chose my guiding word for the year – Surrender.
Setting myself the word surrender was about loosening my need to control every little detail and giving myself a chance to go with the flow.
At the start of 2016 I declared to the universe that I want, need and desire to surrender!
And so many times through out this year the universe looked me in the eyes and challenged me. My only two options were to stay in the ways I was releasing myself from, or surrender.
Surrender is not about giving up. It was not about throwing my hands up in the air and saying “well that’s it, I surrender” and then doing nothing for the year. For me it looked like a change in my mindset, learning to trust in and meeting the universe half way. Sometimes I get so attached to how an outcome is meant to look like, that when life does not unfold that way, I feel like a failure. Or if something takes longer than I wanted it to, I feel like I am not working hard enough, not pushing enough and that I am slacking off.
There are times life does not unfold how we think it will because there is a lesson we need to learn before we move to that next step we are craving to reach.
So what did surrender look like for me?
- Letting go of others expectations of me, and learning that me just as I am right now, is truly enough.
- It was letting go of the huge expectations I place on myself
- Old anger and frustration bought to the surface
- Difficult conversations as I learned how to communicate my desires more
- Cracking my heart wide open
- Tears, tears and more tears
- Lots of moments where I have been saying “have I not learnt this lesson yet?”
- Living life with passion
I would love you to share in the comments below, what 2016 was for you?